How many times I said I’m moving on?

               How many times I said I’m moving on? Some people come back to us like bloody boomerangs (keep it on a loop, trust me). No matter what we do, they keep coming back. We push them away, we throw them as far as we can – nothing works, nothing keeps them distant. Sounds oddly familiar, right? This thought always makes me sigh. You know, it’s funny. I was the first one to say, that someone I don’t want in my life, was coming back to me. I kept throwing them away, I kept pushing – or at least I thought I did – and they still found their way around. Like boomerangs.

How many lies do we have to tell?
To keep from saying, that I wish you well?

                Do you ever pay attention, to where some expressions come from? What is the story behind them? Why someone thought that this particular combination will fit perfectly, to describe someone, something or picture a situation even? Don’t get me wrong – I am curious person in general. I love to dig deep into something, but words puzzles are special, right? Idioms, meaning something else in every language. My favorite these days: in Poland we say “English exit” when we leave unannounced or without permission from a party. In England and Spain it’s “taken French leave” and in Germany it’s “Polish exit”.

                Few years ago, when my friend came back from Australia, she brought me a boomerang. Real, wooden boomerang form the land Down Under. She also brought me shot glasses, but that’s another story. That boomerang stole my heart. We all know what boomerang is – a thrown tool, usually constructed as a flat airfoil. It is well-known weapon used by Indigenous Australians for hunting.

A weapon. Lethal weapon, if you’re skilled enough. Just like that one person that you want to throw away from your life, right? I was thinking the same, until I saw INSTRUCTION ON HOW TO THROW A BOOMERANG FOR IT TO COME BACK.

Boom.

Yes, there are two types of boomerangs – returning and non-returning. But when you think about it, in your mind you only see the one coming back. So, in everyday life we use that phrase “coming back around like boomerang”.

And that’s just it, lot: 98% boomerangs won’t come back, if you throw them wrong. You literally have to follow instruction for that bloody thing to come back to you. And that changed my mind entirely.

                You see, it takes a real effort to make it come back. It actually got me thinking – what if… It’s the same in life? We keep on saying that someone, that this one guy keeps coming back to you, right? What if, we’re taking the effort to let them, let him?

Think about it. Who is your boomerang? Two years ago I’d tell you that I have two guys like this. Today? Knowing what I know about boomerangs, I can tell you that my life is boomerang-free. And okay, maybe that’s just my theory – but as soon as I came up with it, my life got so much easier.

Cause I’m bad at lettin’ you go, lettin’ you go
Lettin’ you go, lettin’ you go

               Imagine Dragons released a song called Boomerang. It’s my favorite from Origins album, which by the way is very close to my heart. Imagine Dragons is close to my heart (Monia, thank you for going to their gig with me, I will never forget that! <3 Funny side story – it was Orange Warsaw Festival 2017 I think? Yes, and we went there to see the Dragons and You me at six, and I only knew one or two songs by this band. Today, they are in my Top10!). You know Genius Lyrics? They have this cool thing on Spotify called Behind the lyrics. What they also have, is section with interpretation of particular lyrics, and song in general. It’s like Wikipedia but with songs – created by people.

“Boomerang is the second track off of Imagine Dragons’ fourth album, Origins, about Dan Reynolds’ eddying relationship with Aja Volkman. In an interview with Zane Lowe, Dan confessed that they never signed the divorce papers and are attempting to rebuild their relationship again.” – that’s the general concept of the song, via Genius Lyrics

Dan and Aja struggled to sign divorce papers, which means that something hold them back. Or maybe they held each other back.

I’m ready to go, ready to go
I’m ready to throw, ready to throw

               So, what if we only keep on saying that we don’t want someone in our life? Hell, we know that they are toxic, bad, they hurt us, they hold us back. Only. Keep. On. Saying. What if, deep down we want them to come back? What if, secretly we are taking the effort. We poke them, we eddy around them, don’t let them forget about us.

I just told you that my life is boomerang-free, right? Well, to be completely honest – I’m really not sure. I, uh… I don’t know. My friend, texted me few days ago “I think, deep down you want to go with him. But it’s okay”. And then we talked about this more (sorry lot, but I’m not ready to tell you full story just yet), and at first I ended up denying it all. This is your first instinct, to deny something remotely close to being truth you’re scared to hear. But then, when we talked more and more, I realized that maybe I want this to be a boomerang. Or maybe I don’t. I was at a conference in October, it was something about safety and security. They had these cameras there, that could identify age and mood. Guess how I seemed? Young and confused. That’s exactly how I feel. That’s how we all feel, right?

You’re my boomerang, boomerang
You’re my boomerang, boomerang

                It’s really hard to get to this point, where you realize that we make our own boomerangs and we let them come back. I’m not going to say, that it’s bad for us – it sure is. But I can’t be the one to tell you this. I’m just as confused as you are. Some boomerangs will break your heart, remember?

Boomerang as a concept is misleading. There are millions various in each equation, but in the end… We all reach a breaking point. Sooner or later, lot. And once you’ll get there – like I did two years ago – you’ll have a choice. Either let them coming back, or choose to let them do that. The second option is a luxury. And curse, because not every boomerang in your life is good for you. Maybe some of them have changed along the way, but… The only way to find out, is to let them in.

                Who is your boomerang?