Spring makes everything bloom

            Spring is here and for a few days we could enjoy sunny days and warm evenings. Last week we changed time to save some daylight! So, now that I wake up at 5:30 am to… Construction site noises coming from across my window. I rarely hear birds these days. But spring makes everything better – and that comes from someone, who loves autumn very much.

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don’t see how you can

            You know what, Friend? I’ve never been happier for spring. I was never looking forward to it, even though I enjoy long nights, warm days… Sitting outside in my favorite bar. These two past years were so tough on all of us. I think everyone was just hoping for a quiet spring and summer. Peaceful, warm months that we could enjoy with our closest ones. Sipping cold prosecco maybe? 

There is this saying, urban legend, that if you tell the Universe your plans, it will laugh them up. I guess all mankind wished for the same – serenity. Well, I should say humankind, because as we all know, there are some monsters among us. Monsters that squeeze the air out of my lungs and dim my light. 

Yet the show must go on, does it not? We can let it roll from the comfort of our homes. Quick money transfer to support a good cause, one day of volunteering, paying for necessary purchases… There is only so much we can do. And as if that wasn’t enough, the war is not the only bad news coming my way.

Try to understand that I’m
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

            I decided to cut off all bad news this weekend. Don’t look at me like that, Friend. I know I am an adult; such is life. But as an adult, I am making a conscious decision to give myself a break. And I will not get into a debate whether it’s selfish or woke; with benefit for my mental health or not. 

After all, I don’t really have to explain or justify my decisions, right? Let’s take it outside. I know the weather kind of messed up these past few days, but it’s still so… Fresh outside. Hey, also instead of coffee, I thought maybe we can take these reusable cups and pour some wine into them? No one will know. 

            Spring makes everything bloom – even my ever-gloomy mind. I cannot understand why I kept the blooming at bay. I already deliberately keep my light dimmed, but this is so much different from blooming. One only is as free as… I don’t even know. How can you tell you are truly free, my Friend?

So little time…

            You pour the wine as I try to get some ice from these ridiculous ball-shaped forms. I wanted it to resemble the Death Star, you know? It’s a pain in the bottom, though. But at least the balls are pretty big, so they will keep the wine cool enough. We finally make it outside and it’s… Cold. It’s bloody cold. Climate change is not real, eh? 

I am determined though. Daylight saving. Let’s use that extra light to our advantage, shall we? Last weekend I watched all the Oscar movies. Well, I was catching up before the gala, as usual, leaving myself too little time to properly enjoy the experience. But it’s okay; I loved them regardless. I watch you take a sip of that wine. It is an unfamiliar taste. This wine is special, because it’s homemade. 

            Do you have a favorite type of wine? Or does it not matter? I think I outgrew all sweet wines. Why? Too sweet, I have all the sugar I need. You let out a small chuckle and that made me smile as well. If we continue this road, we will reach a “shortcut” to my parent’s house. But don’t worry, we’re not popping by for a visit. It’s just a “country road”.

I try to stay awake and remember my name

            You want to hear something cool? Live music is back! My mum and I were on a gig last Thursday. Polish artist but… I have to admit, the young ones started to grow on me. The old ones? I always adored but now I am rediscovering that love. It’s blooming for me again. Maybe the spring did it for me? 

We reached the old road, with no soul in sight. I like walking here. You can see the bypass on the left and… Fields of gold on the right. The roughness of the city and softness of the country. I can feel your glance as we stroll slowly ahead. The concert was great and I love how people are collectively enjoying the vibe. Mum and I had some shots and then some drinks and we danced and sang as well! 

We have another concert on Wednesday, but it will be a nostalgic one. If there is someone who can understand heartache in song lyrics, it’s me, my Friend. But hey, good news only, right? April means one more concert – Hans Zimmer. The two-time Oscar winner composer of my dreams. This will be the biggest concert so far. U2? Amazing. Lenny Kravitz? Sure, he put out quite the show. Ed Sheeran? Beautiful. Coldplay? So energetic! OneRepublic? My first. BUT! It’s Hans Zimmer we’re talking about.

            The air is chilly but the wine keeps us warm enough. Spring, eh? It’s April already, can you believe it, Friend? We were just entering the New Year! Making plans! Buying tickets! And… All of it, it’s coming. 

You’re gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light

            I think people are becoming gentler in spring. As if the sunlight is carrying some kind of blessed, magical power to soften our edges. It’s easier to smile at strangers, expecting nothing in return but a shadow of the same gesture. But if they don’t, it’s also okay – because it’s spring you don’t care. 

Music sounds different through the headphones. As if the sounds are carrying some kind of energetic, positive power to fill us up with good vibes. I want to dance! Right here, one the pavement. Or on the bus… Maybe even in the rain. 

Hanging out with your friends or family is better. As if the kinship and love are carrying some kind of warm, joyful energy that allows us (more than ever) to relax. Each snack, each drink and dad joke are making us laugh. 

            I think people are really blooming – even unknowingly. It’s a process, never interrupted, almost as sure as it is natural. This year I am so much more aware of it. I see the shades and spotlights; I see the good and the bad. Deliberately though, I am focusing on the good. 

You’re aching, you’re breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes

            The ice melted completely, adding some water to the alcohol. You look at me, waiting to continue. But there is nothing more to say – spring will do all the talking. For the first time in ages, I don’t feel the need to explain, to justify, to… Prove that my choices are the right ones. 

This is my journey after all, right? No one will go to these places, but me. Well, you will join me on all endeavors, that’s for sure. But you know what I mean, right? After all, what is the fun in letting someone else live your life? Or steer you through it?

There are only two kinds of navigation systems I accept in life: your gut and the stars. I don’t trust anything else. And I can’t really read maps that well, so… Might get lost regardless. Cheer up, Friend. It’s our season – from blooming, to laughing and enjoying life. Not in a selfish way, no. If there will be a chance of doing something good and kind – I will take it. 

            I guess what I wanted to say is that adulthood is hard enough. Every once in a while, we deserve a break and we should not feel guilty about it. I know that we live in a culture of overworking, overdelivering and overthinking, but as I grow older and bloom brighter, I refuse to participate full time. 

Everybody’s changing
And I don’t feel the same

            It’s time to turn back and get some hot cup of tea at home. I will even bring out my finest China for you! Only the best for my Friend. Oh and hey – I started growing my own peppermint. How cool is that? We can add a few leaves to the tea and it will have this nice, refreshing kick to it. 

How do you like this idea? Of letting spring take over your tired soul and let it bloom you away? Our internal plants need some watering, Friend. All of the rotten, dry roots need to be taken out and thrown away. This way, we will have space for new flowers. 

Sunflowers, maybe? They are my favorite and I hear they look good on me. And they are always trying to face the sun which… Sounds so very nice, doesn’t it?