In and out – what’s coming for me in 2025?

             In with the new, out with the toxic! Might sound just cliche enough, but you know what? I like cliches. I freaking love it, because it makes me think nothing but sweet thoughts. And we all can use some sweet, soft thoughts these days, no?

You look like Clara Bow
In this light, remarkable

             I think I needed some proper grieving period after David Lynch to feel my calling back to writing, you know? A part of my creative spark flew away to the cosmos with him, and I just needed to honor it. 

That, plus Mars was in retrograde. You know, Mars, the planet of getting shit done, was effectively banned from doing so? I felt like doing so much, but had so little energy. 

So, I did what my therapist advised me to – entered an energy saving mode and just listened to my body and mind. And for the past few weeks, writing was not on my mind at all. January had 148 days, but February was merely a blur. How is that fair?

Crowd goes wild at her fingertips
Half moonshine, a full еclipse

             But let’s back up for a minute, before I share my in and out, and actually ins and outs, because it’s a full list. I feel like people around me had a very difficult start of the year. And me with them, because as a friend, as the glue, I tried everything to support and love them through these tumultuous times. 

If therapy taught me something, it’s that in order to best help those around you is to NEVER make it about yourself. Can you imagine going through something traumatic, and receiving a text from a “friend” saying “why are you not talking to me, it’s been so long since we hung out” or something. Yikes. 

Giving someone space and time, and tons of love on their own terms was the best I could do for them. Listening, being silent with each other, taking someone under my roof – all small things, but I hope so greatly important for them. 

I’m not trying to exaggeratе
But I think I might die if I made it, die if I made it

             And then came February with my mum’s knee replacement surgery and the hardships persisted, but so did I, though I am hanging by a very thin thread now. It’s hard when there is absolutely nothing you can do to ease someone’s pain. 

I think there is a way – it’s to let that person burden you with all that pain, but for you it turns into a mental struggle. That definitely contributed to my head being too full to write anything remotely interesting. Or fun. Or just really anything at all. 

But! I can feel the spring in the air already. I dusted off my mint Converse and am walking around with a bit increased cadence now. Oh yes, this girl is back to running and with no other than coach Jeff who adores cadence drills – I used to hate them. But… As I mature, I see the benefits of these and ugh, am here to admit that since I started this program, my cadence is gradually improving. You win, Jeff! 

All your life, did you know
You’d be picked like a rose?

             So, what is going out? Overthinking, especially my family’s dynamics. But overthinking in general, because it is so much easier to just say “fuck it” and go on. Next, feeling heavy about my personal timeline. Yes, I am in my 30s, but am I missing out? Not really. I am on my own unique and beautiful journey. Comparison can take a back seat.

Out: playing small with creativity. Of course there still will be people around me trying to drag me down or trying to make me feel like I am too much, but once again – I know my ideas are big. Oftentimes too big for people to comprehend, but that sounds like a “their” problem, not mine. 

Out as well: Feeling guilty about loving and liking things so loudly. Oh God, to think that there was a time in my life I felt stupid or embarrassed to say I enjoy something or like this or that… 2024 was a great year in that department so in 2025 I want to reinforce the message. 

This town is fake, but you’re the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings

             Consider the out list me using sage to burn out all of the negative energy from my life once and for all. Now, as the smell and that burnt toxicity captured in it wafts away from my life, let me tell you about the in – the ins, actually. 

In: SHOW ME HOW GOOD IT CAN GET mindset. Mindset shifts might seem small changes, but they are in fact monumental and, as I know from work, they are extremely hard to implement. But this one was so pleasant for me. It costs me zero energy (and… well, this is the most precious currency in the world, trust me) to send that thought out to the Universe every once in a while. 

Another in: Creative confidence. I know my worth, I know that everything I do creatively brings me immense joy – this is why I started this place and as a continuation of my creative endeavours, I started Chapterly yours. It was never about clicks and now it’s not about the views. I like doing this, and that is enough. 

In: Adventuring without a timeline. The pressure is almost everywhere these days and I will NOT be willingly submitting myself to it too. Yes, I started writing my book a little over 2 years ago, and so what? I am in no rush. Same goes with life events. I already stressed enough about my apartment.

             And finally, in: Hobbies for life! There are currently so many in my “portfolio” – painting (watercolors and by numbers), embroidery, reading, writing, scrapbooking, making cards and bookmarks. The latest addition to my interests is calligraphy! 

You’re the new god we’re worshipping
Promise to be dazzling

             Astrology says that this full moon / eclipse season is coming for Libras’ throats and I can feel that with my full blown cold. But you know what? I feel great. Because I know, in my heart that absolutely fantastic things are coming.