Baby you’re the end of June! 

           Baby, we made it through the half-year mark last week and it is amazing. You did it! We did it, and even though at times it felt hard, we are still slaying it. Summer is in full, hot swing and it is officially iced coffee season.

Breathe me in, breathe me out
I don’t know if I could ever go without

           Come in now baby (I am calling you that instead of our regular “Friend” because baby is more summer-like, don’t you think?), let’s make some of that coffee. We can still sit on the balcony because in the morning it is not that sunny. Also, did you see? Harry the hibiscus bloomed! I was completely surprised to see that.

And even though the flowers are violet instead of blue as the card said, it will give out more flowers soon. I am quite pleased with my small garden this year. Sunflowers are being a little sassy, but I have faith. And have you seen the garden upstairs?! 

There is a lavender, a rose, wild strawberries (though they are also known as fragaria) and some other wildflowers! It looks really nice and I cannot wait to have some lilies next year. Oh, also – pepper mint?! ROSEMARY? Am I a proper gardener or what? 

Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening
And it sounds just like a song

           I take out the ice to put it in our glasses for the coffee, and the quiet hum of the machine combined with bird’s chirping are the only sounds coming through. I am trying my best to see the positives in the last 6 months, and there are so many. The gratitude jar for sure helps me keep a proper track, but I want to open it on January 1st, 2025.

But even though life is amazing lately, there are still some moments of overwhelming uncertainty and fear. For instance, I changed my role at work – from team leader to an individual contributor in the field that I am insanely curious about, and… 

A quiet sigh escapes my lips, as I choose black coffee on the machine. I am beyond grateful and excited, but it is still a huge change; I am happy and scared at the same time, because there is so much I need to learn. I know all will come to me with time, but deep down I just don’t want to let down people who trusted me and gave out everything to get me into that position.

           We both watch as the coffee mingles with ice, the hot drops melting against the frozen cubes. A force of nature… Someone called me that, you know? And I kind of laughed it out, because that can’t be true, now can it? 

I want more berries
And that summer feelin’

           Let’s try adding some milk foam instead of the milk only, let’s see what happens. Baby, I gotta tell you – the fears and anxious thoughts won’t disappear completely, even with meds involved. Sometimes I wonder if there are meds strong enough to get rid of anxiety completely, but frankly, I don’t think I want to know. 

The thing is, such episodes keep me humble. The high of not knowing fear, anxiety, shame or uncertainty is addicting and I don’t want to lose myself in it. So each of the setbacks, each speedbump is a reminder that there is still work for me to do. 

I hand you the coffee and we clinic the glasses taking a cautious sip. I don’t know baby, I don’t think I like homemade iced coffee, haha. Maybe it’s the lack of something sweet? Anyway, come on -the swing is waiting. I settle on the artificial grass, needing an artificial moment of grounding. 

           Speaking of, I am back into running. With the spirit of proper millennial life crisis, I signed up for a half marathon in May 2025, and I also take part in various virtual races. It gives so much joy,but also, once again, keeps me very humble and more aware about my body. 

Strawberries
On a summer evenin’
Baby, you’re the end of June

           What better way to stay motivated than buying cute running outfits?! Hey, don’t you laugh. If it works then it’s not stupid, or something. No baby, but believe me – it’s been a lovely ride so far. Demanding and challenging, but oh so worth it. The old me wouldn’t be able to skip or shorten the training, but the current me is completely in tune with my body.

Heatwave? That’s a no from me. Feeling like I was hit by a truck because one of the planets yet again is in a retrograde? Take a nap and decompress. Life puts enough pressure on all of us, so why would I do that to myself? 

Running used to be a nightmare for me in school and I am slowly falling back in love with it. So no, I will not let my demons ruin it for me. Speaking of falling back in love – baby am I back with paperbacks? Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my audiobooks and eBooks but damn. 

           I started this book fishbowl thing where I put various book covers into the bowl and every now and then I draw one paperback and audiobook to enjoy. Of course, I also made it into art with a sweet book journal to document the journey. 

I just wanna taste it
Watermelon sugar high

           These 6 months flew away quite fast, don’t you think? But the next 6 months are looking equally amazing – with new concerts and trips, with countless weekends that I will spend with MM watching TV shows or movies, with walks and runs, with yoga and learning new things at work.

Will my anxiety still be there? In some way, it will always be there with me. But hey, as long as I am aware and, let’s say, on top of it, I think it will be okay. I have no problem with leaning on my loved ones and even more – I have no problem with stepping away from situations or people that are not good for me. 

           This part of the year in astrology is meant for cutting off people who are toxic and just holding you back. Is it bad to let some acquaintances or friendships die? No. To some degree, both sides must realize that it’s not working as it should. So, don’t be afraid to let go, as scary and hurtful as it sounds.

Don’t be afraid to tell someone that in this particular moment of your life, you can’t deal with this energy anymore. Because if you really want to transform into that higher self, you must stop dragging yourself down. 

Is it selfish? No, because it always takes two to tango. And always, always two people are suffering, even when only one is unhappy. Letting go is not easy, but it gives the sense of deep liberation that allows us to bloom. 

I don’t know if I could ever go without
Watermelon sugar high

           I am optimistic, baby. I really am, because I learnt to recognize the moments I need to slow down or use the energy to the maximum, so it’s not going to waste. Divide and conquer, I believe is the saying? 

You see… I am happy. Which is something I wasn’t able to admit for a very long time, my friend, but I really am. With this newfound happiness, I also learnt to be humble and extremely delusional – because it makes me smile! There is nothing funnier than 3 friends saying to each other “EXACTLY” or “THE WAY I WOULD… WAIT, ACTUALLY – THE WAY I WILL”. 

The little things really make a huge difference, and my mind keeps drifting to the Asian cinema that captures it superbly – Perfect Days, Minari or Past lives. Life is good, baby. Don’t ever forget that.