Everybody wants to rule the world

            Everybody has some kind of desire, at least. To rule, run the world. As long as we talk about that little world of ours, then fine – rule away. The big, wide world is out of limits and best to focus on things we have in our control. Hey, Friend. Been a minute. Missed me? 

Welcome to your life
There’s no turning back

            I think I needed that break; you know? Everybody does every once in a while. Things have been piling up for me, especially at work. April was so tough; I was sure I was not going to make it. But as with all things in life, everything is temporary. And sometimes all you need is to pack your bags and go for vacation.

I can see you looking at my fridge, on that new magnet I brought from Ischia. A wide smile spreads across your face, because this one is just perfect for me, with sunflowers. It was a sign! The coffee is slowly brewing, as I watch you examine other magnets. Can you guess which ones are mine and which were gifts? 

It’s Sunday and the weather is finally what we all want it to be – spring-like. The sun is out, making people bloom and reveal their true colors. For me, it’s yellow, like the sunflowers. But… Wait, did I show you my sunflowers on the balcony?

Even while we sleep, we will find you
Acting on your best behavior

            We step out on the artificial grass and you notice the tiny sprouts. I am so proud of these! Everybody keeps telling me that I don’t have what it takes to take care of plants, it’s a running joke in my family. But are these proof I actually can be a plant-mom? You laugh at my fierce determination. 

I think we can stay here, though it’s a bit chilly on this side of the building; the sun will wander around the corner in a few good hours, but I can bring you a blanket. Do you want the swing seat or would you rather sit on the grass? As on command, you sit down on the grass, leaning against the garden box. 

Speaking of plants, my neighbor brought me pepper plants. Your confused look makes me laugh, as I step back for coffee. Well, like bell peppers, I think? Anyway, I had to buy new pots for them and most importantly, come up with names. There are 5 peppers in total, plus 4 sunflowers…

Turn your back on Mother Nature
Everybody wants to rule the world

            So, along with pots and soil, I also bought name tags for plants. Listen, if it’s stupid and it works, then it’s smart. The only plant that passed away recently was Britney and she just… Didn’t have what it takes to survive in the fast-paced environment. I hand you the coffee and go back to make one for myself. 

I don’t know what changed in me recently and is it the 30th year on this Earth approaching or maybe the new shoes, but I have this… Newfound confidence. 

You are silent, watching in some kind of awe, as I sit down on the swing, sinking in the cushion. The messy morning look is one of my favorites, and if it consists of an oversized hoodie and warm socks, best believe I will thrive. 

            Your tilted head tells me a different story. Friend, I can slay if I want to and recently, that’s all I’ve been wanting. There is this saying: don’t chase, attract and I think I am finally channeling that energy. But hey, I didn’t tell you about one important thing.

It’s my own design
It’s my own remorse

            So, you know how the weather is getting so amazing in the morning and I’ve been having my breakfast here so I can feel like I have this spring/summer ritual going? Yeah, so. I am still in the Bad Bunny era and since my neighbors already know his albums and songs, I decided to bless them with more fantastic music throughout the day. 

You burst laughing and I can’t help but join. I know, everybody keeps telling me I am hilarious, but damn Friend, this train is only getting faster! Anyway, I kind of envy them because they get to hear all of these amazing songs I love. Like “Bitter sweet symphony”. 

Gosh, I love that song and I am tempted to say it is the greatest song ever made. You want to protest, but hey. Hey now. I know, okay? They totally stole the melody from the Stones, I am not saying that they didn’t. They got permission to use a five-note sample of the Stones’ “The Last Time” (which, by the way, I don’t remember).

And well, they used all of it, which resulted in copyright issues. While Jagger and the rest of the band couldn’t care less, their manager, Allan Klein didn’t want to back down, which is understandable, since BSS was a bigger hit than whatever Stones released.  

            Okay, that was a bit harsh, but you get my point. Anyway, I am happy I can share these with my neighbors and I am 100% sure they are utterly and completely grateful. We both chuckle knowing damn well it’s probably the contrary, but who cares? Not me. 

Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever

            Nothing, that is true. As much as I would love this feeling inside me, this goddess energy, to last forever, I know all things and feelings are fleeing, evolving and coming back around in a different form. I think everybody could benefit from that thought and maybe it would result in more appreciation of the here and now. 

We sit in silence, but it’s not really quiet. The birds, the dogs and soothing sounds of my random Spotify algorithm are filling the air, like the waves slowly washing over the shore. The serenity of this morning is something I needed, something I was desperately looking for lately. 

I told you I bloom in yellow, because my opposite is blue. And I’ve been feeling blue for a long, long time. Sunflowers, when we talk about human form… These people are special, because just like the flowers, they can survive a hot summer and a cold winter. Sunflowers are lasting, enduring the good and bad. 

            It’s time to embrace that about me, instead of making it go away. I follow the sun and when the sun is low on my planet, I turn to my people. It’s a good way to live a life, my friend. A small measure of peace, if you will. 

There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do, I’ll be right behind you

            We bask in the shadow of my balcony, watching how slowly but surely, the sun makes it across the sky to reach our side. It sounds great, when you say it out loud: Life is emotionally abusive, but at least I have the sun on my side. I smile and close my eyes, leaning back in the swing. 

I could sit here all day, just writing and listening to music, watching the sun dance on the walls of the building. And later, as it goes down, how the colors in my apartment change, how soft the sunflower painting looks during the golden hour. This strange sensation of serenity feels me completely, and I no longer feel numb. 

And however fleeting and temporary – it’s a wonderful feeling; one I will cherish for as long as I can. Until something new comes up and the yellow starts fading, blue taking over… Just for the yellow to come back in full brightness. 

Say that you’ll never, never, never, never need it
One headline, why believe it?
Everybody wants to rule the world…

            I know you probably want to hear about my Italy trip, and let me tell you – it was amazing and exactly what MM and I needed. The food, drinks, sightseeing, the weather even – perfect. Italy felt very local after Thailand, but even we needed a financial recovery, haha! No, I am kidding – this year I knew I would only be able to take 2 weeks, so. 

But we are already planning something for later this year and of course – the bigger Asia trip next year. There’s so much we want to see! And it’s a great feeling to have something to look forward to.

In concert news, the Hans Zimmer Live show will be postponed, as Hans got sick. It’s definitely a bummer, but I don’t feel devastated. I saw him last year and whatever the new date will be, I’ll come. The good thing about it? I will be able to join my Pucz team for another quiz at work! 

            You listen with a smile, and for the first time in months, I can sense the peace in you. Finally, we are on the same page, coming to terms with anxiety and social exhaustion. All of that is okay, as long as I am still the only ruler in my little world. We are going to be okay, Friend. Everybody is going to be okay.