Bridget Jones – the ultimate spirit animal?

               Bridget. Iconic character from romantic series, that I love to re-watch every once in a while. And since it’s been 4-5 years… It was time. Hey, don’t give me that look! I watched plenty of new films and Movie Challenge proved that! ? Besides, Bridget Jones’s Diary is basically documentary. Or, a very good source of information, at least! Admit it. You had fun watching it! And it’s not even a guilty pleasure.

Oh, don’t be silly, Bridget!

               Frist of all, the phenomenon of this series (at least 2 films, because the third was… Well, let’s agree that it was funny but unnecessary, so I will not be writing much about it) is easy: Bridget is SO DAMN RELATABLE. For all the singles and struggles out there, she is the one person that would understand everything. And the times (2001 vs. 2020) would not matter at all – it’s still hard and there is still the stigma. The other thing about Bridget… is that it’s super funny, with pinch of British sense of humor. Perfectly casted, well balanced between happiness and sadness – is there anything else I should throw on the list?

Being single in your 30s (or any other age, for that matter) must be hard. Harder – because I’m 27 and just recently I decided to OWN IT. Like many other things in life: being too expressive when I talk (you know what I mean, Movie Club, right?), I’m too nerdy, too this and that. So what? This is exactly who I am and guess what? I took me 20+ years to say: it’s okay.

               But even though Bridget was the hero of her own story, this realization came – as it should – in the end. AND with help of great second line of defense. You remember I told you about story writing elements, that complete the picture? Good, you will need that!

Shut up, please. I am very busy and important.

               Ah, flirt in the workplace! The ultimate dilemma and evergreen taboo. Well, I do think it’s not a good idea – especially when it comes to flirting with your boss. Nothing good can come from that. It’s a different story when it’s between colleagues but still… Is it worth it? The aftermath can be really heavy. But these days, it’s difficult to distinguish flirting with someone and being nice. Just nice! Sure – Bridget was definitely flirting with Daniel Cleaver, and I must admit, it was an awkwardly cute exchange. But I can tell you, that not everything is what it seems.

My mum thinks that I am a flirt. Like, full time flirting vixen that, given the chance, would flirt with a chair. I love you mum; I love you so damn much. BUT I AM JUST BEING NICE TO PEOPLE! Stop smiling, I swear to all the Gods 😀 This week I was planning my bathrooms and kitchen with architects and I asked my parents to join me. Let’s face it – I suck at home décor stuff, I have zero professional taste and if it was totally up to me (well, it is, but you know what I mean), everything would be in Star Wars. So, I decided to use some skilled mindsets to meet the common (high) ground.

After each meeting my mum would smile at me, and said that I get a whole lotta more stuff done, when I’m flirting with people. I saw my dad clenching jaws – he didn’t see that. I looked at her, completely surprised. Wow. I was being genuinely friendly. And I thought, why is it hard to see the difference? Did Bridget have the same problem? She was heating things up with Daniel and at the same time, she was trying to put distance between her and Mark Darcy. Was this also flirting, but unintentional?

Have you got a boyfriend? A real one?

               Like I said, these days – virtual times – it is hard and tricky to see the difference between being friendly and hitting on someone. For my defense, as in fact I AM A FILRTING MASTER (haha, good joke), you wouldn’t even know. Trust me, this is the secret of successful flirt – making the other side think, that they are doing the flirting. Welcome to my TED talk! So, when you look at Bridget this way – she was flirting with them both. Just in different manner. Okay then, let’s move on, because I can feel the blush all over my face and red is not my color.

I must say I never liked Hugh Grant’s character – the classic bad boy. Sure, I mean Hugh is good looking and damn, that killer smile. But as you all know, for me looks are not that important. Therefore, I was naturally drawn into Mark Darcy. See, so Bridget Jones’s… simplified is ultimate dilemma: should a girl go for the uncertain but thrilling bad boy, OR should she choose the safe yet predictable man? I am not a fan of generalization and I hope that you know that both characters were much more complicated, but for the sake of simplicity, let’s stick to what the film offered.

So, we meet Daniel Cleaver – and I’m sure you’ve met plenty of them in real life. Smug, intelligent, cheeky and with not remorse. Dangerous, fun and easy going. Good manners, charm and irresistible charisma. Sounds rather lovely, right? But ladies, it’s not what it seems. Bridget knew that – she even mentioned it to her friends. Yet there is something about that kind of guys, some kind of magnet. A thrill, that usually ends in tears.

No, but, blue is good. If you ask me there isn’t enough blue food.

               And on the other hand, there is Mark Darcy. Wouldn’t call that love from the first sight though ? Look, I am big time M.D. fan but it does not mean that he was perfect. There were some perfect things about him – like making the disaster dinner so much better; or admitting his feelings for Bridget – liking her just the way she is. But he lacks spontaneity. Bridget pointed out, that he did not fight for her – not knowing that he will go above and beyond to get her out of Thai prison.

Sure, those are serious issues, more than often not to overcome in many relationships. I am no romantic expert, Lot but my heart beats for Mark Darcy. He ruined all men for me, goddammit! Ohh, the way he looked at Bridget sometimes. Chills, right?! Remember kids: in world full of sneaky Daniel Cleavers, wait patiently for your Mark Darcy. He/she is out there, I promise.

               Life is not a film, though. So, your Mark Darcy might not be the exact embodiment of the one on the screen. Which is good! Truth is, looking for perfect is not the way. Few posts back, Radek mentioned something very important: It’s better to wait and find someone we’ll truly love than ‚the next best thing’. And we go back to the single stigma – nurtured by our families, suddenly-married-so-called-friends, and everyone else not knowing a damn hoot about our life. Ah, we love them experts, don’t we? Here is my advice for you: own it and make it uncomfortable for them. Would your settle for anyone, to avoid Christmas bitching or would you rather wait for someone truly exceptional; someone who will love you just as you are?

Happy birthday dear what’s-his-name…

               Oh, that line cracked me up so hard! Mark Darcy, super serious attorney, in the middle of the Greek birthday party, fighting over a girl. This fight is iconic and perfectly timed with the song (also, side note: I am working on “perfect timing” in films; this will be great one, I promise) – and Bridget watching it from the front row with her friends. Smooth transition to another “classic” element in this film: the gang.

And once again, it is generalized for, let’s call it content: we have gay best friend (80s pop star, of course), slightly neurotic friend and the “alfa-bitch” friend. Take a moment to recognize those “model friends” around you. Which one am I? ? Don’t answer, I know. But this is perfect – add Bridget to the mix and it is the funniest, most entertaining combination. This is the kind of dynamics all friendships need. Think about it: when in doubt, you call a friend. Or mum, but hey – there are things that must be discussed with your closest friends.

               I am blessed, when it comes to choosing a gang – being a textbook ambivert with slight tendency to be more introvert. There is this saying that introverts don’t make friends, it’s extravert that adopts them. Well, there is something right about it, but I don’t agree completely. It takes two to tango, really. Eventually, introvert will feel the need to open up. My lovely friends have a unique way of “activating” the extravert inside me. But, they also know when I must be left alone to deep-dive in my thoughts. Even then, I never feel alone.

I realized I had forgotten something here.
Which was…?
Well, I realized that I had forgotten to… kiss you goodbye, do you mind?

               Why do women still love Bridget Jones’s Diary? Bridget was flawed; she smoked, she drank, she was looking for love and trying to lose weight. At the same time, she was strong and confident. When Daniel cheated and Mark hurt her, Bridget had no fear to hold her head high and say that she didn’t want either of them. And of course, Bridget also (as many of us), has dysfunctional family.

But with families I guess it comes and goes in phases. After all – it’s family so there is no denying that love is strong with this one. Sometimes though, they can be real pain in the ass. Especially during holiday season. I wish I could give you some golden solution or a silver lining at least. What wonders me is that our generation is so creative, so bold and fearless. We tend to complain on our families, but who can guarantee, we will not make the same mistakes as our parents?

My mum had a surgery last year and sha had to cut off her wedding ring. I decided to fix it for her. Actually, while I was talking with guy from jewelry store, I asked if it’s possible to make new ones but exactly the same. Since my dad lost his years ago, it would be nice to see them wearing them again. But can love really conquer all? I sure hope so…

I like you very much. Just as you are.

               At the end of the day, Bridget never lost her spirit – even though she was probably drunk or broken-hearted. I know it’s hard, Lot. So damn hard to be alone, to feel lonely. Especially in winter – coming back after dark, to an empty apartment (hopefully warm, because yours truly keeps forgetting to turn the damn radiators ON). But there is no rush and we must not fear the pressure. In fact, I can say: duck that (also, yes if you are wondering where my constant “duck me” but with f came from – it’s from Bridget Jones’s…). Listen – there will be days of doubt and crushing wave of sadness. But think, always think What would Bridget do?

She would call emergency meeting with her gang. She would get drunk and sang sad tunes. And the next day, she would walk around with her head held high. Because true strength comes not just from within – no one ever managed without little help. And it’s okay to ask for it.

               See how many positive lessons you can take away from chick-flick? All that thanks to putting together few fundamental elements of great storytelling. Seriously though – this series is sweet entertainment for a cozy night with mulled wine (or hot cocoa). Night for yourself – with some soul treatment. Remember: there is someone out there who likes you very much. Just as you are.