Hello there, General Kenobi!

Hello there, General Kenobi!

Saying „hello” and starting something new in your life is never easy. Job, school, relationship. You might think you know the “mechanism” but I can tell you, it’s never the same. And maybe… Maybe this is exactly why people crave for a change. Maybe this is why, at certain age you want something else, different than what you know – you quit your job to travel around the world. You get out of relationship to try and find yourself. Or… You start writing a blog. Like me.

Let me be honest – I love writing! I love the process of writing, the research, composing, looking for the right way of saying what I think.

So, why this is so hard?

Okay, maybe not hard. It’s… Scary. Yes, I am scared. But man, I need a change! I need something new and exciting in life. So why not? Let’s give this a try. One step at a time. And if you decide to stick with me,
I promise you – it will be a blast.

I want this place to be something else – a place, where you can go in at any time, with a cup of damn fine coffee or earl grey with a bit of lemon, cover yourself with a blanket and enjoy the reading. I want this blog to be different, like a melancholy hill, that leaves you wondering about a lot of things. That makes you want to come back for more, not because it’s good. But because it makes you feel like you’re sitting in a bar on autumn evening, rain is pouring outside, but you are warm and comfortable just watching it through the window. Big, wooden-framed window, with warm lights around you. With well-deserved beer, glass of wine or hot cocoa, after long day at work. Or taking care of your kids. I want this place to be a moment for you to cherish.  Place, where you can take a break from everything that’s bothering you.

For the very first post, I’ve decided to go in completely new direction. What typically goes into first post? Couple of reasons why – check. Basic information about the author – not quite yet, but you can easily find out on your own, because the Internet! What will be posted – let this be a surprise that we will unravel together. But I should mention general idea, which for those who know me won’t be a big shocker – pop culture! Now, I know that pop culture is as deep as the ocean, but that’s the beauty of it, right?!

So, the mandatory part is done.

Now, about my idea – couple of years back I’ve read an article about experiment that will make you fall in love with anyone! Yes, that’s exactly how media pictured it. All it takes to fall in love is just 36 questions and 4 minutes of staring into each other’s eyes. Brief scientific background: Arthur Aron, professor of psychology at the State University of New York, along with co-workers created “The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness”, long story short – how to create intimacy and connection between strangers. To test the theory (read more about this here), they created “Task slips for closeness-generating procedure”, 3 sets, 12 questions each. Do you know where I’m going with this?  Oh yes. You all will fall in love with me in a few minutes!

hello

No, okay, I’m just kidding. It doesn’t work that way. But I thought this will be a good way to introduce myself. So, I asked three of my friends (thank you!) to pick random numbers from each set. I have to admit, I remembered few questions from way back, and to this day I like to throw them occasionally into random conversations (especially, if it’s not going great; there was this one incident with speed dating, but that’s a story for another time). So here it just you and me, having a conversation. You ask and I answer. Honestly. So you can find out who I am, before we dive into this ocean. Are you ready?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Ha. Can I tell you something? This is the second time, that I’ve got this questions. Couple of months ago my friend from work started rooting for me and my writing. So this entire thing you’re reading now is my second attempt. I also asked her to pick questions for me, and this one made the list. Now that I think about this questions, I can tell you this – death is scary. And I am one of those, who can’t cope with it. Losing someone you love is terrible, and no words can describe what you feel. Or don’t feel. But no, I don’t have a hunch. I wish it would be from old age, after living a happy life. But this world works in mysterious ways. Anything could happen.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

For people around me and opportunities they give me, sometimes without even knowing. I am blessed to have family that supports me, roots for me and celebrates me, when there is a reason. Or not, celebration is a phone call away with my aunt. I am double-blessed to have amazing friends, that would cross all of the lines for me. I am also really grateful for those people who are no longer in my life – we went separate ways, which is a natural thing in life. But you brought something good into my history.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

Oh, friendship. Wow, that is fundamental in my life. Having even one true friend makes your days so much better. Having someone who understands you without words. Someone, who knows your every frown, wrinkle, wink, look, fear, biggest darkest secret… The most wonderful feeling. And luckily, I have such friend (Aggie, I love you!). But I also have other people in my life, who are very dear to me. And I would walk through the fire for them. Friendship is a full package of acceptance, love, trust, fun, support and tons of goofing around. Friendship is a great base for amazing relationship. Being friends with your parents, siblings or this one cool aunt can bring something else into family bonds – this… Chill. It’s different when you can swear in front of your parents, because you dropped tomato on the floor. It’s different to get drunk with your aunt on her birthday and stroll down the memory lane, where at age of 15 you danced on a wooden stool. It’s different, when you can tell your brother that you read about two old ladies who were friends and each morning they texted smiley face to let each other’s know, that they woke up. And that difference is that the next day, your brother will text you that same smiley face.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

For a couple of years now, I can say with pride that we are closer than ever. Of course, we have ups and downs, we fight, we are on “non-speaking terms” but… Families are like that. We have our own perfect. Like days when mum and I watch Netflix all day. Or when she asks me to watch all Marvel movies with her, with dubbing obviously. Or when my dad takes me to a speedway match. Or when I take them for dinner to our favorite restaurant. Or when my brother invites me for a drink, we end up having a small party with friends, and I’m going home at 5 am next day. Or when my godson is spending weekend with us and we watch kids movies and hold hands. Or when I drop by my old work to visit my aunt, and she makes me tea (“Cause I know how much you love tea, I have few flavors for you, Darling!”). Or when my grandma swings by my work to give me dinner. Or when my other grandma assures me that I will always have a room at her house (“Your parents have keys!”). I’m not sure how to respond to the second part of that question. My childhood was very happy. But it’s hard to say, hard to compare. For me happy means full of laughter and good memories. But for someone else it might mean something else entirely.

Now, this is where it should end. But, like I mentioned this is my second try with this experiment for creative purposes, so how about I’ll answer few other questions, K. picked up for me?

4. What would constitute a „perfect” day for you?

Reading my previous answer, K. said to me: “What? No concert? That can’t be!” And damn, she was absolutely right! After all, we are talking about perfect day! Let me see… You know, everything depends from my mood. But yes, a concert definitely makes the list. Good meal with people I love. Trip to a new place. Good movie, that will leave me wondering about stuff. Making my dream come true. Making someone else’s dream come true. Doing a good thing. Helping someone.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Easy. Teaching my godson stick out his tongue. We has 4 months old when he picked that up from me! That little beast. But seriously – in that moment I realized that you can shape that kid in every possible way. A lot depends from me. Really! I am his godmother after all. And I want to teach him the good things. Like building blanket fort. Like watching the Lion King. Or playing board games. Riding a bike. Treasuring memories from day one. I taught him the coolest “handshake” ever: high five, fist bump and kiss. And that’s ours, forever. So, I would say that being a good… Okay, decent role model for him is by far the greatest accomplishment of my life.

You know, I would like to be a person that wherever goes, touches people’s hearts. I know, I know how dramatic that sounds, but… Wouldn’t you agree that it’s awesome? To leave a mark. Be remembered. Have people miss you. Making a difference in someone’s life. Neat!

17. What is your most treasured memory?

Okay. This was really emotional for me. I remember writing about people who are no longer with me, my grandfathers. Sadly, we often appreciate people and things that we no longer have. Like goodnight kisses with my granddad from the seaside. Ah, that was something beautiful! Or when he let me drink the foam from his beer. Or all those fruits, veggies and plants he had in his garden to make me smile. Or all the fishes he caught for dinners. Or that time, my other granddad went for a concert with me, that no one else wanted to go. And that time, he showed me that plums are actually really tasty. Or every breakfast he ever made for me, when my parents were sleeping in after party.

I am a collector of memories. I love making dreams come true (mine and others). So, all the gigs I’ve been to (U2, Coldplay, Queen, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, OneRepublic, George Ezra, Years & Years, Sting, Bryan Adams, Lenny Kravitz, Ed Sheeran, James Bay, Pink, Vance Joy… and even more to come), all the events
I took part (Monster Jam!) in. All the small things that make me smile on a daily basis…

Few months ago I had to make the toughest decision in my life – after weeks of fighting, I had to put down my cat. Cat, who was with me for almost 12 years. 12 crucial years of my life. Honestly, I can’t remember how life looked like before him. But I can tell you, how my life looks like now: no one greets me at the door being the loudest creature on Earth, at any time. Not after work, not in the middle of the night. Not when I come back in tears, or laughing. Not even when I come back from my morning run, or after dance class. He’s not warming my sore back, or spending the entire weekend lying on me in bed (purring all goddamn day, that’s how happy he was, I was finally his). He’s not hunting me anymore, biting my legs and arms. He’s not watching the Lion King with me, carefully observing all of the animals on the screen. He’s not talking with me, looking deep into my eyes, just to bite my hand few seconds later. No one is doing wild runes at five am on Saturday, from one window to another. No one hunts birds from the cracked window, to place them, still alive on my bed. And I miss every single thing. Even the biting.

Right. Okay. I think that’s quite a lot for the first time.

Feeling in love with me yet? Don’t worry if you do – feeling is mutual. This is what Twin Peaks Café is all about! It’s also about movies, music, books. It’s about TV shows. Good times. Good memories, beautiful places and great people. Stick around, pick your favorite place inside (you prefer table by the window? Or closer to the counter, where you can smell the coffee beans?) and get lost inside my head.

Remember, that you are always welcome here. I will do my best to make your stay here fun. Sometimes it will be sad, melancholic and dark. But there will be a lot of fun too! This blog is a change. It’s that “something else” in my life, that I need. Therapy? Maybe, why not? Call it as you want.

All I want is for you to feel… To feel. Period.

8 thoughts on “Hello there, General Kenobi!

  1. ” I can tell you this – death is scary. And I am one of those, who can’t cope with it.”
    There’s a movie called 'the fountain’ (2006) that is about dealing with death.
    It’s one of my favorite movies. I recommend it if you have not seen it yet.

  2. Comment Lovely words. Like taxes death is inevitable to everybody. You shouldn’t fear it if you live life to the full. I always like a quote from James Dean, allegedly uttered a week before he died… 'dream as if you’ll live forever….live as if you’ll die tomorrow’

Dodaj komentarz

Twój adres e-mail nie zostanie opublikowany. Wymagane pola są oznaczone *